QUO VADIS? : untangling western medicine v. being open minded?

When one assumes that you are at last in charge of your body after years of abuse by something beginning with ‘C’ around the corner comes a spiritualist medium followed by a cranial osteopath to releave you of your misconceptions!

I genuinely believe that medicine prescribed to treat invasive conditions is the best way of restoring good health when ones immune system appears to be unable to help – that was until quite recently. In retrospect the turning point for me became the motivation for this hesitant blog as my cancer was no longer contained within my bladder and my persistent cough resulted in a scan revealing seven nodules in my lungs as per my original blogs. Secondary cancers take no prisoners and at best I would be fortunate to contain it. My wife had her legs taken from under her and she had me on ‘death row’ without admitting it. Then came the phone call from a fellow drinker the outcome of which I have hesitated to explore not wishing to undermine the integrity of the outcome.

I need a moment for you to be able to place a coherent perspective on what happened next and it is best explained by providing a little of my family background. With C.of E. Vicars and Bishops on the one side and Methodists and Mediums on the other, family discussions after church on a Sunday could become a little disparate and fractionalised. Mother would be refusing to even stay in the same room if spiritual and ghostly aspects were presented having been frightened rigid by her Grandmother; she was apparently an extraordinary medium with the ability to prove the point using manifestations and in extreme circumstances levitating furniture which rendered people speechless. One from the C.of E. stable was an exorcist who would use powerful religious ‘white collar’ magic as I call it, which will excuse my admitting here that the room where I am writing this has four Easter Palm leaf crosses, suitably placed around the walls, which have been previously blessed on Palm Sunday but not burned, obviously!

On my bedside table I have a Missale Romanum in Latin and English, which “jumped” off the shelf into my hand in an antiquarian bookshop, sitting atop a Bible given to me by my Godfather. On top of both is a special gold cross from Rome holding a glass Buddha within its chain! Above the entrance door to our house on the inside is my soul Mantra ‘Peace’. My faith is unusual in that having studied the ‘Six religions of the World’ at Marlborough under the instruction of a very wise sage, who is wagging his finger – “tortology Mant!” – my future path took many years to reach a point where confirmation became plausible under the direction of Rev Denys Ruddy, head of Readers in the Oxford Diocese.

In the meantime I joined the Society for Psychical Research (SPR) when I moved to London after leaving Marlborough but found the factions within it too distracting and I concentrated on the resurgence of hypnosis and the ability to harness the energy surrounding mind over matter. I remain convinced that “energy” as an interactive force is what enables us individually to link between spaces unseen around us and create what I can only describe as an interwoven spirit of co-operative cohesion; this, I believe, has a hierarchical structure which I experienced that particular afternoon more than ever before and I am unlikely to be that fortunate again . . . .

My spiritual home is Salisbury Cathedral and as a young boy I vividly recall asking my father what the bell was that I kept hearing in my head: “the Matins Bell” was not the answer for which I was prepared! I had grown up experiencing wonderful apparitions of a black cat companion on my bed, finding myself literally floating down the stairs which really annoyed my father, listening to unusual inexplicable voices in my head which I eventually learnt to switch off, and an unhealthy disposition towards matters spiritual!

PART ONE: Mr Biker-man c/o Merlin!

So here you are, if you’re still with me: a friend rings me in the middle of trying to get my head around secondary cancer of my lungs insisting that I fix a date to spend a moment of my time with him; yes, he is a spiritual medium and the requested meeting had not come from him but from ‘biker-man’ leaning over his shoulder excitedly pointing at my photo on the screen saying “that’s him, get him here, that’s him!”

It was an unusually busy Wednesday afternoon in October three years ago with my granddaughter’s ‘Tea Concert’ at school after lunch, yet another scan at the hospital and then pub dinner with good friends in the evening ~ somewhere in the middle of which I met up with ‘biker man’s’ spiritual medium ~ let’s call him “Merlin”.

Merlin and I sat talking for a while in more depth than matters more temporal in the pub, only for him to say about the ‘biker-man’ and the reason behind my invitation to the studio. He then sat me down on a rather hard wooden chair facing an equally bland exit door, switched off all distractions and placed his hands on my shoulders from behind. Quietly he intoned words to relax me and started to ‘work down’ through my body only to find that my lungs became something of an obstacle at which point he completely changed direction and said ” Oy, guess who’s just turned up ~ Mr Biker-man ~ didn’t take him long! I’ll leave my hands on your shoulders but it will be his energy not mine . . . . I’m letting him take over.” How much time elapsed I truly have no idea but it was fairly heavy going and Merlin had gone silent until he surprisingly said that biker man had called upon another ‘presence’, I can’t recall his exact words, but the atmosphere had changed dramatically!

I will never understand or be capable of explaining what was happening inside my body although I did try in my diary a week later because the ‘energy healing’ continued for sometime. My chest was being intricately examined for most of the remaining session and eventually Merlin asked that I gradually surface but to be aware that I would be inexplicably exhausted so not to stand up for a while as most of the “healing” moves down through the body. It was horribly unnerving to see that he was actually standing on the other side of the room because to me his hands had never left my shoulders! He obviously appreciated my astonishment and explained that when Sananda took over from biker man he, Merlin, was ‘removed’ from the situation that he had initiated. I had no idea what he was talking about nor who Sananda was!

In retrospect I truly know how blessed I was that day because the secondary cancers were shrunk and eventually disappeared much to the astonishment of the MDT (multi-disciplin team) at GWHospital, also the oncologist and respiratory consultant who confessed “You really are a mystery Mr Mant”. Having referred to my diary it would be more illuminating to quote the relevant entries:

OCTOBER 2014

8th. Message left from JI my consultant at GWH re my recent scan – sounded v. glum. His secretary rang later to say that he was on leave but she would email his contact details. Rang GPs & reception gave me wrong impression; GP rang back to say that lesions on my lungs are secondaries from bladder cancer. He has booked a full body scan to assess extent of “damage”. JI rings 5mins later to say he’s off to Spain but all is in hand – case going to MDT meeting & senior radiologist is reporting back to him Monday lunchtime but I can ring him at anytime; given both of his private no’s. He is a godsend. Daph tells daughter in law (nurse practitioner) and shows her the report that was emailed to me from GPs.

9th. This a.m. poor Daph has already got me on death row so I asked her for a reprieve! Tears do help but the shock wave is still on it’s way:- hey, we’ll get there together. Realistic chat with daughter in-law after work.

11th.  Awful night, could not get back to sleep, shock wave has hit brain and v.difficult to address. Too much still to do and I cannot leave Daph with all this mess! Talk about a shitty-city brain ~ everything over analysed and no route out found. It is manifestly obvious what needs to be done but it hurts so much that having been poorly for so long and then getting my cold at start of August from then my constant cough has ‘wasted’ me – but it at least was a blessing in that I would not have been given an X-ray – it was a direct result of that image that I was given CT scan! So here we are trying to recover from JI sounding so glum [He has been my bladder consultant for over 20yrs and always so up beat & positive] – secondary cancer, brown lists & me are something I cannot contemplate X

12th.  I confess a whole week has passed with nowt written here BUT “That was the Week that Was!” never to be repeated! To say that jointly we have been to hell and back: emotionally it has been the biggest challenge of our lives.

13th. This journey is horrendous and until you confront it as the person whose life it is threatening you cannot understand the impact. I spent half the w/e and today creating a short film trailer that incorporates my poem “My cough is here to stay”. It was almost cathartic and my way of conveying the news to my friends. The responses were so helpful as Daph & I do not really know how to cope with this despite the fact that we can do it together.

14th. Six o’clock and a message left by Merlin made it v.clear: “Hello Roger, I think you had better come and see me as soon as possible!” Probably the best invitation EVER & later arranged for tomorrow – I need a drink!!

15th. Left to get to Merlin’s by 4.30. We sat, drank coffee, talked about me and my faith/belief/spiritual world, also my Mum’s and Granny’s views. He said that biker-man had become really excited insisting that he rang me and apparently had been ‘around’ since I had taken a friend to see him but stayed with her and he mistook the real link with me! Anyway I sat on the hard chair and he started on me only to realise that biker-man was there again really agitated about the association that Merlin had got wrong – magic!! He had been trying to get through to Merlin ever since her visit because of my unknown condition which he had continued to work on but needed to use Merlin’s hands! The next few moments I was in a time warp especially as neither of them could move down through my chest and then the atmosphere totally changed. I had no idea Sananda had taken over apart from the energy that was being forcibly distilled through my body. In retrospect it was probably a good job that I didn’t know that Merlin was standing on the other side of the room! I confess I found it so difficult to “ground” myself even with Merlin’s help and I was utterly shattered but to be told that over an hour had passed was mind boggling. He wouldn’t let me drive home for a while as I was so light headed and rang Daph as we were meeting friends for dinner and it was already gone seven!

16th. Desperate to go to the toilet but can’t, totally blocked! Also v.anxious as I need to wash my feet in fresh running water but cannot leave the house. Merlin rang to check on my ‘well being’ and offered to help from afar! Eventually drove down to Chavey Well outstream from Clamy spring – v.cold water but profoundly moving. Apparently both are an intrinsic part of the purging process.

 17th.  GP rang with results back from scan which show that nodules have shrunk – YEAH!!!! WOW xxxxx JI rings ten minutes later, talks to Daph and then I tell him and he agrees that it cannot be secondaries! He has referred me onto respiratory consultant who will be in touch . . . A_M_A_Z_ING!! Neither Daph nor I can get our heads around it. Apparently JI had discussed my case at MDT meeting hence immediate referral. Merlin really helpful both yesterday and today – thank you for your support. Need to find out/read all the theories about Sananda, Jesus and all the other people with which his energy is associated ~ absolutely humbled that he ‘engulfed’ me X.

18th. This has been a revolutionary week in our lifetimes – from sec.cancer on my lungs to shrinking nodules; biker-man (D. remembered it must be Terry’s son) to bring Sananda to cleanse my body and soul which has continued into the w/e; for JI to say I can contact him at anytime ~ I am truly being looked after and even D. has cheered up!

19th. Onto my “New World”: despite my spiritual faith sustaining me and my biker-man energy being a true angel, this has been really hard work some of which I need to record here. An amazingly apt quote from F’bk last week: “If you saw the size of the blessing coming you would understand the magnitude of the battle you are fighting”.

20th. It has been hard work getting our heads around the amazing results from the second scan and JI’s comments but look forward to getting better and curing this cough completely. Goodness knows what has happened to the last two weeks but we equate it with winning the lottery without jumping up and down! Reminds me of the ‘Divine Comedy’ – one wonders what individuals go through in life to write that but Danté has taken on a different persona since experiencing such extremes as having secondary lung cancer one week with seven lesions the largest being 24mm to them shrinking the following week, and yet it is difficult to get excited. Even the children are bemused but obviously as pleased as we that we shall have a future together

21st. The blessing was the original X-ray/CTscan1/ CTscan2 and in between I receive the message from Merlin a week ago and the most incredible healing of a lifetime: it was really awesome to glow from within as biker-man gave way to Sananda whose spirit apparently was the embodiment of Jesus Christ and too many others to list here! I am still glowing and astonished.

24th. Left car at pub last night and ring Merlin for a lift and to show him Chavey Well and talk about my work in Castlefields. Thank him for giving me my life back – not an easy thing to say to anyone! Having returned Merlin does a top-up as my back is so bad and just as I’m trying to focus he says “Hello, here he comes” and I am literally once again engulfed in an overwhelming presence which gives me so much love and understanding. At the same time my back has gone away and although exhausted from the ‘treatment’ I am cleansed by the most awesome experience of my life.

26th. Clocks back an hour. It is astonishing that no matter where you are Sananda’s blessing continues to work: hands tingle all over and my body becomes quite heavy – yet it is peaceful and loving!

27th. A good friend of Merlin’s messaged me about moving away after 30yrs in Wiltshire and at the end said “I think young Merlin was quite excited that he had connected you with Sananda as he said it was an incredibly strong link. I hope you have found benefit from it.” I am well impressed that he has spoken about it especially as it reinforces what I felt – I am so, so blessed and fortunate to know him and for biker-man to link up with him!

31st. ( I replied at length reiterating much of the above) From all this I decided to blog for the first time as rogermant.me and give my interpretation of the hospital’s input, JI my consultant, and Merlin’s huge engagement with my well being – how about that – I do need to speak out in Linda Bellingham’s memory, for CRUK (Cancer Research UK) and for the “Merlins” of this world! And then message from GP re Lung specialist and Oncologist’s referral: NO FURTHER ACTION repeat body scan in three months!!! Response from my daughter in-law: “How random is that – completely bonkers!” and from my son “Remarkable but quite bizarre”. And from me: “Roger, over and out”.

PART TWO: Osteopath and a ‘New Vision’ 

Let’s take a rest after major surgery in March 2015 and start this next journey ‘QUO VADIS’ in my next chapter here!

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